For the sake of privacy, let's call my Facebook "stalkee" Megan. A little background on Megan: I've known her since kindergarden. She's not a close friend, merely an acquaintance. After high school, Megan moved into a condo with her boyfriend, who is three years older than she is. She currently attends Carroll University in Waukesha, Wis.
First off, it is clear that Megan's life revolves around her boyfriend. Many of her daily status updates involve him in one way or another, and each day's actions or thoughts somehow concern him. Whether she is making dinner for the "love of her life" or professing her love for him through song lyrics, her Facebook wall, about me section, quotes and interests are all saturated with references to her boyfriend.
It is also clear that Megan loves to cook, perhaps a little too much. Her daily status updates often involve EXACTLY what she's making for dinner that night. For example, her status last Wednesday was: "Dinner tonight is a mixed green salad with buffalo chicken and my homemade ranch dressing along with a side of cheesy garlic bread!" She's also an employee at Penzey's Spices, which may fuel her love for cook and her need to let everyone know what's for dinner.
Finally, Megan is very concerned about her body image and openly expresses these concerns on Facebook. One of her status updates last week was: "Dinner is made, relaxing for the rest of the night...starting tomorrow i'm back at Snap! Time to shed the love handles before our Valentines weekend get away ♥" At the beginning of January, this was one of her updates: "This year i'm going for the short term goals...Goal #1 lose 10 pounds by the 18th of January. Working out...then more laundry (you would think 5 people lived here)!"
Now, I don't know about you, but I wouldn't exactly use Facebook as a means to tell everyone that I plan on losing 10 pounds in two weeks. Or to tell them about my love handles.
Additionally, the way in which her life revolves around her boyfriend sort of bugs me. I know that I shouldn't be one to judge, but the fact that she's spent her college years cooking for her boyfriend, doing his laundry and cleaning his condo is a little unnerving to anyone remotely interested in feminist issues. I don't know about you all, but I'm much more content with how I've spent my college years.
In conclusion, it's easy to see that Megan's main concerns in life are her boyfriend, what's for dinner and her body. On the surface, these may seem somewhat trivial, but it's rather simple to delve into her private life through her Facebook page. She's obviously insecure with her body and maybe even insecure with her relationship, as she's constantly pampering her boyfriend. With many of us having anywhere from 200 to 2,000 "friends," Facebook is a very public forum, and I think that Megan should consider reevaluating the content she posts on it.
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I love this post. It epitomizes exactly why I hate facebook.
ReplyDeleteClearly, Jen has a rather large dislike for this Megan character. And yet they're "friends" on facebook. This isn't meant to be a jab at you Jen; we're all guilty of enjoying facebook's guilty pleasures. But it makes me think, has facebook given a new definition to the term friendship?
This is my favorite phrase, it coins my point preciecly: "I know that I shouldn't be one to judge, but..." In reality, that should be facebook's platform. Instead of a site that "helps you connect and share with the people in your life" its tag-line might instead be a site that "helps you judge and critique the people you aren't in your life."
Maybe I should send a recommendation to facebook - let us accept friend requests by labeling such users as "friends" or "enemies." You know what they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
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ReplyDeleteI found it intriguing that many of "Megan's" status update was somewhat trivial (no offense, but I don't think that many people would care about what you cook EVERYDAY), but she's probably not alone. I can think of some freinds who tell other people what music they were listening at the moment all the time, or what chapters they planned to finish reading that day all the time, or what show they were watching all the time...you can continue the list. I wonder what motivated them to post the things that are not so relevant to other people on their Facebook.
ReplyDeleteSome researchers argue that Facebook is a place where users strategically present themselves. So are these people updating their status as a way to express who they are? (e.g., I'm good at cooking, I love music, I'm a diligent student, etc.) But then other studies found that when you ask Facebook users how often they use Facebook to present themselves in the way they want other people to see them, most people say "rarely". How do we interpret the conflicting results?
Another relevant thought I had was maybe by posting these updates, users can attract their friends who are also interested in food or music to leave a message, and thus facilitate their interaction. If these updates indeed serve this function, then maybe what I considered "trivial" was not as trivial as I thought; it's actually functional!
Personally, i don't update my status that often, but when I did, I kind of wanted to draw people's attention and also hoped that someone would leave a comment about the feelings/thoughts I shared or the events I attended. So I would say I probably did updates with some expectations. I wonder whether it is also the case for other users, especially those who do updates relatively often.
Jen, I loved this post. This is a great example of a type of obsessive facebooker that is a little bit different than your average annoying party girl.
ReplyDeleteMost people focus on the annoying party girl facebooker, that posts incriminating pictures of them drinking underage, smoking pot and making out with girls. While this is obviously wrong and placing too much personal information out there, i believe that most people have come to the terms that this type of facebooker is normal. Most people i know have put up pictures or have been tagged in pictures of them underage drinking. With myself included, I look back on my decision to take part in this carelessness and wish i had taken the higher path. However, I am going to look back on my current decision to keep my facebook turned on during my job search and that it is careless as well.
As times change so do social norms. As we are beginning to understand how facebook and the internet works, more people are taking the time to block their pictures and defriend people who they don;t know.
One last thought that I had while reading everyone primary posts: Facebook has allowed our generation to really keep tabs on everyone in our networks, either it be college, high school, middle school, work or family. Even if we have not talked to someone for 6 years, with in 5 minutes of stalking their facebook page we can figure out where they are living, if they are in school or have a job, if they have a boyfriend, if they have been going out and drinking lately. A sick amount of information. But looking at the positive side of this situation, our generation can stay in contact and touch with so many more people at their fingertips, with out any type of human contact.